First Days

First days of anything have always made me a little apprehensive. If it is day one, then I am nervous.

I can probably trace that back to my very first day of school over 50 years ago. I do not remember that day specifically, but I do remember being overwhelmed in my first few days and weeks of kindergarten.

That carried through to the first day of school every year. New classes, new teachers, new kids in the class and the unknown always made me want to run away.

Nothing ever happened on the first day of school that might have justified the apprehension, but the next year I dreaded the first day all over again.

The first day of a new job has always been nerve-racking for me. What will I be asked to do? Will I be able to do it? Am I qualified for this job at all? Will I get along with “The Boss” and coworkers? It seems there was always something to dread about that first day.

I dreaded the first day of a new job shortly after Kelly and I got married. It was the first job that I had been hired for according to my pre-existing qualifications and experience. I worried for a whole week. What if I cannot do it? What if they find out that my skill level is not what they expect it to be?

I dreaded the first day of that job horribly. Then the day before I was to begin, I got food poisoning. I was sick all night before and was still sick the next morning.

I had to go to a pay phone on the corner, call my brand new boss and tell him I was too sick to go to work. I fully expected him to tell me to forget it. There was no job for me.

Instead, he was very understanding and told me to come in the next day. Now, I dreaded the second day of the new job.

In later years I worked in a factory as a utility person on the assembly line. I had a new job nearly every day and certainly every week. I was apprehensive every day.

There were many days Kelly and I knelt at the couch in the living room at 4 o’clock in the morning and we prayed that the Lord would help me do the job as it needed to be done. I was dreading that first day every day.

I thought about that while I was in the hospital. They accepted me into rehab and late one evening they moved me to the rehab floor. I was not sleeping much anyway, but I slept none that night to speak of. I was dreading that first day of rehab.

I felt like I was five years old again facing the first day of school. I had no idea what would be required of me. I did not know if I could do what they ask. I knew I needed the rehab, but I did not know if I could live up to it. It was the dreaded first day syndrome again.

Kelly was up very early helping me get cleaned up and ready to go. It took us two solid hours for me to get ready.

Here I am. Ready for my first day.

I felt like the condemned waiting for the hangman. I was literally scared out of my mind.

The therapist came in and helped us learn how to do something that I desperately needed to know. The next three hours flew by with people really wanting to help me.

I realized, as I often have, there was no reason to be consumed with fear.

First days bring apprehension but God is still with us on first days. We may be scared because of the unknown. But God has no unknowns. There is nothing out of his control or out of his realm of knowledge. First days or any days do not scare God.

God is in control.

We are facing many first days right now. Maybe more first days and first things than we ever have in the past. 

God help me to remember all these days are no surprise to you. Nothing alarms you!

Thank you, friends, for praying for us during this onslaught of first days.

Davy